If your boyfriend is hot and socially active, he'll attract attention from other women.
There's no getting around this – you're dating him for a reason.
He's awesome. Other women are going to see that.
Unless you lock him in a cage and keep him inside all day, he's bound to run into situations where he interacts with other women.
Some of them will be attractive. Others may be very attractive.
Many of them will have what seem like lengthy conversations or spend time flirting with your man.
The first and most important thing when dealing with other women is to stay calm and level headed.
No matter how inappropriate an interaction might seem, flying off the handle and barging in in a fit of jealous rage is NOT going to be good. You don't want to be THAT girlfriend.
Instead, try to assess the situation. Write things down if you need to — you don't have to show them to anyone, but they can help you keep a level head later. When you get a chance, confront your boyfriend in private.
It's tempting to ask leading questions or outright accuse your boyfriend of cheating.
Instead, focus on how what he's doing affects you. If you're in a healthy relationship, telling him you're jealous is often enough. He'll be more cognizant of how his behavior with other women affects your feelings.
This means he'll go out of his way to prove to you that he belongs to you and not the other woman.
If he gets defensive, remind him that you're just telling him how you feel. You're not saying he can't do things or that what he did was even wrong, just that you'd appreciate it if he kept your feelings in mind in the future.
It's worth noting that if you do have steamy jealous sex afterwards (which is normal) you may want to remind your boyfriend that you can PRETEND to be jealous in the future if he wants a repeat. He doesn't actually need to go around making you jealous.
As your relationship gets more serious, you'll want to have a conversation about its limits. Try to avoid setting oppressive rules. You can't bar him from socializing with other women entirely, but you can set up some safeguards to help you feel like he's your boyfriend all the time.
When you're out at a party or a club, ask him to check in with you every few minutes.
Ask him to find a way for you to meet his female coworkers (like company parties or after-work social gatherings).
Make a habit of texting each other every day at lunch.
Also Read: 20 messages to text the romance back
While these might not seem like much, knowing who your boyfriend spends time with and having him stop and pay attention to you every once in a while can go a long way towards making your feelings more manageable.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you can't fulfill every need your boyfriend has on your own. I had a friend whose boyfriend was really into salsa dancing. As a result, he went dancing once a week with his (very attractive, female) dance partner.
As they got more serious, she wanted to stop him from doing it entirely. Luckily, I got a chance to talk with her first. They worked together to come up with a more agreeable solution.
She let him dance on his own on Thursdays, she took her own salsa class on Tuesdays, and they found another intimate physical activity to do together on Wednesdays (I think they started out with rock climbing but I know they've since moved on to something else).
The result was that they grew closer rather than further apart.
My friend got to learn more about something which was important to her boyfriend and got to spend more time with him while he got to keep dancing with his (competition level) partner.
At the end of the day, if you can't trust your boyfriend, it doesn't matter if your man is cheating on you or not. Your relationship is ruined.
This is why it's so important to not accuse – when you accuse, you tell him you don't trust him.
By focusing on your feelings instead, you can have a conversation where you still trust each other.
This is also why it's a bad idea to confront the women who are tempting your boyfriend.
It makes it seem like you don't trust him enough to talk to him directly.
Trust doesn't mean that you can't get nervous or jealous or worried. Your emotions will make things difficult for you.
Trust means that you respond calmly and that you honestly believe that your boyfriend will stick to any limits you've previously discussed.
It means that you think he'll mention he has a girlfriend when it's appropriate in a conversation and that he won't get physical with other girls.
It means that when he tells you he just had a friendly conversation with another women, you're content to leave it at that.
Trust DOESN'T mean that you let your boyfriend cheat or lie to you.
If he says something that's obviously false, call him out on it. If he keeps lying to you, leave. If you have proof of him cheating, confront him calmly and privately.
If you still think he's cheating after you've confronted him, leave. Your trust is very valuable. If your boyfriend doesn't respect it, you need to find a new boyfriend.
If you feel jealous about other women, talk to your boyfriend in private without accusing him. Only through calm, adult talks about your relationship can you reach a meaningful solution.
The plus side is that these talks will give you a chance to become closer with your partner and give you new opportunities to grow your relationship.
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