Multiple brain studies have revealed that the same brain regions activated when an addict is going through withdrawal is similar to when someone is going though a breakup. Whether it’s a calm breakup or a terrible, crash-and-burn situation, you have taken some time to invest your emotions into another person’s life but unfortunately, you must accept that the relationship you once nurtured is nowhere but dead and gone. So how do you survive a bad breakup and not end up wrecking your confidence and self-esteem?
If you are looking for tips to help you get over a bad breakup, here is a list to help you handle the pain, drama and turmoil that comes with ending a relationship.
1. Either Unfriend or block them on Facebook, Whatsapp, Etc.
Don’t assume that you are a mature and reasonable human who can withstand seeing occasional reminders of your immediate ex on your Facebook timeline. You can almost always negatively interpret little things like quotes, new timeline photos or comments to mean personal indirect attacks. Additionally, that period of not hearing from them or seeing their updates is important for your healing.
2. Lean on your loved ones
There is always that older, wiser confidant who always sees to know what to say; give them a call. Tell them what happened, they will make you feel better and restore your confidence and self-worth. Call your best friends and let them come over with movies; if possible don’t make them mutual friends with your ex. Throw in some wine if necessary, and let out your feelings in the comfort of your living room, on their shoulders.
3. Don’t immediately suggest to stay friends
If your ex suggests this, tell them you will think about it. Note that this is an impulse and, you don’t want to seem desperate or like you care too much about the breakup. You want to be so chill. But quite frankly, during this awkward, stilted breakup period, it’s difficult to tell whether to remain friends with your ex or not. Generally, one person may want to be friends, and the other one wants to be more, so you may want to carefully consider how you would like to relate in future, that is if you can’t completely avoid each other.
4. Give yourself sometime to grieve
It is healthy to let it all out, don’t bottle up grieve and emotions, they bite back from inside. Allow yourself a few days to feel sorry and low. Limit yourself to about 30 minutes each day after that. Feel free shout or cry to release your pain and emotions while at it. Plan a fun and pleasurable activity at the end of the 30 minutes, after a while, you will feel much better.
5. Spend a lot of time outside
It may sound cliché, but fresh air does actually clear your head. So does, you know, seeing the sun’ once in a while. Take 2-3 hours each day to interact with the outdoors and breathe in some fresh air. If possible, start going for nature walks or road trips more often.
6. Take your time
This is my best personal approach on how to deal with a bad breakup. Don’t rush to move into a new relationship, a new home, a new town or buy a new car. Major changes like these will merely help you avoid your feelings, without going through a proper healing process. Believe that with little patience, time and support, you will soon feel better and find love again.
7. Don’t drunk-text
Just because you drunk-texted your ex at 2 a.m and he replied does not mean he still has feelings for you, neither does it mean you going to have a spring wedding. Drunk-texting your ex is basically a two-steps-forward, one-step-back slide down the messy rabbit hole. Avoid it. If you are too drunk and think you might drunk-text, get your friend to take away your phone.
8. Take baths
Baths are half pampering/cleansing and half wallowing, and thus, offer a pretty soothing sensation after a breakup. When is the last time you actually filled up your bath tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a bottle (glass) of wine? Go for it.
9. Keep busy
If you wake up early, go for a walk or jog, go out for your breakfast or keep yourself around the house doing something. A little retail’ therapy (go shopping) is not bad idea to help you get over a bad breakup either, or you may enjoy the liberty of going to a movie in the middle of the day, for once. If you can’t sleep, read, do the crossword puzzle, or watch TV. Do not lock yourself up in your room and ruminate, you need to free your mind to allow your heart to heal.
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