In this blog post, I'd like to discuss some ways on how to please your man with your hands. I happen to think that the term “hand job” fills women with all the wrong ideas from the very outset.
It isn't surprising then that so many women find this off-putting.
There are few things less appealing to a man than having a woman lean into a hand job like she's on a mission.
Using your hands to stimulate and masturbate you man is a sexy challenge and a privilege.
You want to handle his d*ck with lust and awe, both for his pleasure and for yours. Goodness knows you love making your guy gasp and moan. It's an incredible power trip.
There is, however, far more to this process than you probably think.
Please Your Man With Your Hands
When it comes to the different things that most guys want to experience during sex, hand jobs don't really make it to the top of the list.
According to one (charming) guy, it isn't all that far away from a personal wank.
You do want to know what you're doing though, because mutual masturbation can be incredibly exciting and fun, but only if you aren't so bad at stroking your guy off that you both wind up distracted.
So, let's take a stab at improving any fumbling, awkward attempts that have been made in the past. For most women, the top causes of a sloppy and unpleasant hand job include insufficient confidence and limited understanding of what feels good to a man. I'm a firm believer in the idea that asking is always the best way to learn.
All men are different, and having spoken to a number of guys on the subject, I've found that while new techniques are great for surprising a man from time to time, the most sensible thing is to simply ask your man what what turns him on and what makes him feel amazing.
The first step in these efforts is to get acquainted with a man's genital organ, or his hot, throbbing member.
Surprising Misconceptions About A Man's Penis
Although you probably think that your guy's penis is incredibly tough and durable, especially when he's furiously pounding you during raw, passionate sex, his d*ck isn't a numb piece of meat that has to be stimulated hard and fast in order for him to get off.
NO! This is all wrong.
He can only pound you like he does during sex because your vagina happens to be a warm and perfectly lubricated tunnel that feels soft and good around him, despite how fast or hard he's thrusting.
The penis is a muscle and it's just as sensitive as your vagina. In fact, the penis can be even more sensitive than the vagina, so the best way to go about handling it is gently.
I've talked to countless guys about this and every one of them has implicitly agreed (with expressions of warning).
With a pained expression, he said that the girl went at his penis like she was trying to build a fire. “It was awful!”
“She had this ridiculous, painful way of twisting with two hands. And the way she looked while doing it. His voice faded away into a troubled silence and it took him a while to fully recover from the unpleasant memory.
Rule One: Maintaining a vice-like hold on his penis is never sexy.
I spoke to another man who suggested that women should think of giving a hand job as giving a soft, loving massage, rather than the type of deep-tissue rub down that you might get in a sports clinic. Touching a guy's d*ck too softly is far better than handling it too hard!
Foreplay Begins Long Before His Pants Are Unzipped
One guy went so far as to tell me about his hand-job horror story. He had a heavy French accent which made the tale all the more hilarious.
Guys can get impatient and greedy, particularly when their penises are involved, and most want instant gratification.
Your job is to prolong his anticipation and pleasure, this way, when you finally do have his d*ck in your hand, it's rock hard and juicy.
Foreplay should start well before you actually have his penis in your hand. If you want to make your man's pants tight, start talking to him dirty. Talking dirty secretly, but in a public place and while giving him some over-the-clothes action can be incredibly exciting!
When you're waiting for a taxi or standing at the bar, press your body closely against his and use the top of your thigh to discretely stroke him between his legs. You can even act like you're totally unaware of your movements while letting your hand touch his slacks and edge slowly upwards.
You can even give his bum a firm squeeze.
This is about letting his mind and body know that you have something amazing in store for him later on.
Rule 2: Remember that a good hand job is just as mentally stimulating as it is physically stimulating.
Start With The Right Attitude
There's absolutely no point in trying to give your man a mind-blowing hand job if you aren't ready to enjoy this experience with him.
This isn't just about getting your guy off, it's all about your ability to thoroughly enjoy every aspect of this experience, including all of the sexy and naughty things that it implies.
Guys love it when women want to invade their pants and touch something that is theirs.
When you give your man a hand job, you're doing something naughty and this gives you license to be a bit slutty, which will add extra fantasy and excitement to the whole experience.
One of the men that I spoke to said he never asks his woman to touch him. First, this spoils the sense of being invaded and second, when a woman initiates a hand job, it shows a man that this is something she wants to do, for her pleasure as much as for his, and that is definitely sexy!
Rule 3: Be decisive when giving your man a hand job. Take some initiative and dive right in. Put yourself in control and enjoy every second of it!
I had one guy detail his best experience with a hand job to me – “She walked right into the front room wearing high heels and French knickers, with a full-length mirror in hand.
She put the mirror down behind her, turned and knelt down right in front of me.
Wow! This is exactly the type of initiative and confidence that I mean.
This lucky man had the benefit of two, incredibly erotic perspectives: he had a bird's eye view of the action and from behind, well, let's just say that it's easy to surmise that this hand job soon gave way to an incredible blow job and some mind-bending sex in front of the mirror.
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Hand Job Techniques That Are Going To Drive Your Man Wild
With all of the creative, seductive ideas that are probably racing through your head, I guess you're ready to know just what men want you to do with their penises!
We have such a hard time imaging what it feels like for men, don't we? After all, we don't have penises so they're definitely a bit foreign to us. Sadly, there isn't a single hand job technique that's guaranteed to get every guy off; because every man is unique, but here are a few key things to keep in mind, a few juicy tips to get you going.
Never be afraid of your man's penis. Yes, it's massive and throbbing in your hand, and it's also the key to making your man's knees quiver, but it's still just a body part that has nerves and nerve endings that are ready to respond to many different types of caresses.
You want to have some fun with your man's penis while being ever mindful of the fact that this sensitive organ is also attached to a number of nearby pleasure spots.
For example, a man's inner thighs can be incredibly sensitive, so make sure to stroke and rub these too!
Also, pay some attention to his ass, which is great for squeezing and grabbing in order to build your own sexual appetite.
Do not forget to touch his balls! His balls will feel amazing when they're being gently massage and scratched, fondled and tickled. These are incredibly sensitive to touch and can bring your hand job to all new heights of pleasure.
After his d*ick is nice and erect, start paying attention to the crown or the head, which is the most sensitive and responsive part of the penis, along with the frenulum which lies just underneath the head.
When his d*ck is rock hard and has started to seep, you'll now that he's absolutely ready and there will be plenty of his own, natural lubrication to begin gently stroking the head with your two fingers and thumb.
A lot of guys like it if you use your saliva for additional lubrication and watching you lick your fingers and then use these to stroke his d*ck can be very sexy.
Next, try stimulating the shaft of your man's penis with just three fingers rubbing in an up and down motion. One of the guy's that I interviewed called this “heavenly”, so it's got to be a good technique, right?
There are some ladies who like using their thumbs and forefingers to make rings that can be slipped right over the head of the shaft to stimulate the ridge of the penis and the sensitive frenulum that lies just below.
Avoid sticking with the same, boring action. Try stroking or rubbing your man at a faster or lower pace and keep in mind that your goal is to tease him into a state of absolute rapture.
If you continue using the same movement over and over, you'll both get bored and your arm is going to become incredibly tired.
Once you've tortured him in the most pleasurable way for as long as he can possibly stand, put your full hand all the way around his d*ck and use a steady, up and down motion that speeds as his excitement builds, right until he ejaculates.
You may find that your man wants you to slow down while he's ejaculating and keep going for a short while, with very slow movements until he's completely finished.
In terms of what to do with his sperm – well that's entirely up to you. You can use your hand to catch it and can wipe it onto a tissue. One guy said, “I don't want that sh*t on me!”. If a guy has naughty fetishes though, he may love watching himself ejaculate on your beasts, your neck or even your feet.
One way to really improve your hand job skills is to read the detailed hand job guide “Stroke by Stroke” by Michael Webbs.
Surprisingly, you can give your man far more pleasure with an amazing hand job than you can with a blow job!