How to Ask a Guy Out Without Sounding Desperate

So you like a guy? But you’re not sure if he’s interested. And, even if he was, how do you ask him out?

You might be the most outspoken, confident woman in your workplace, but the thought of being rejected by a man has you quaking in your boots. Don’t worry! Nobody likes rejection, and there’s no reason you should get hurt by asking a guy out. 

I’m going to talk you through some easy moves, to ask a guy out without sounding desperate. And without you feeling embarrassed if he turns you down.

So sit down and relax. Maybe pour yourself a glass of wine. Because I’m going to give you all the tips and tricks that you can use to get yourself a date with the man of your dreams. Without sounding desperate. And without getting hurt. 

Don’t ask him for a date 

Ok, so I know this sounds crazy! You want a date with him, so how can you get a date without asking for one, right? Well, the key here is to ask him to do something that isn’t a date, per se. And to make it seem like you don’t care if he comes or not. 

A great example is to ask him if he wants to ‘stop by’ to a friend’s party. Or perhaps some drinks you’re going to a new bar in town. The trick is to make sure he knows that other people will be there.

This way, it doesn’t sound like an official date. And he doesn’t have the pressure of giving a definite ‘yes’ on the spot. Just casually drop into conversation that your friends are going to this cool new bar that just opened up, and that it would be fine for him to stop by if he’s free. 

More: 3 Texts To Send Your Ex Boyfriend To Make Him Come Running Back

No pressure on his part, and definitely none on yours. If he does come, you’ll know that he likes you. And if he doesn’t, he might just have been busy that night.

The important thing here is to remember that, just because he didn’t come, doesn't mean he doesn’t like you. Simply try this tactic again at another point in the future.

But, if he never shows up to anything you invite him too, he might be giving you signs that he’s not interested. In which case, you can stop asking him. I mean, you never even asked him out on a date anyway! 

The ‘spare ticket’ trick 

This is what they call ‘old but gold’. While it might sound cliché, the old trick of saying that you’ve got a spare ticket to an event is a great way to get yourself a sly date. And it’s another method that means you don’t have to ask him directly. 

A good tip here is to make sure that: 

  1. The event is something that he’ll want to go to 
  2. The event is something that you want to go to 

The reason these are two important things to consider is simple. In order for him to want to go with you, you double your chances if the event is something you know he’d enjoy.

If he’s into sports, you happen to have a spare ticket to see a soccer game. Or, if you can find out when his favorite band is in town, even better! 

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But remember, if he turns you down or is busy that night, you’ll still have two tickets that you bought. So make sure the event is something you actually want to go to too!

If you hate his favorite band, it’s a bit risky buying two tickets to a gig that you won’t enjoy. So try and go for something you’ll both like. 

Another great thing about this trick is that, if he says yes, you’ll have a fun night ahead with plenty of entertainment. And, if there isn’t much of a spark between the two of you, at least you’ll have something to watch…apart from the clock! 

Ask him if he wants to grab a coffee 

Another classic. But there’s a good reason that this is a tried and tested way to get a date. Going for coffee is about as casual as you can get. No dinner reservations, or spending hours (and dollars!) finding the right outfit.

Grabbing a coffee is something you do with your friends and colleagues every day, so it’s not a special occasion. And this makes it a great way to spend time with the man you like, without the pressure of being ‘on a date’. 

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In this scenario, you will have to get up the guts to ask him. But fear not! With a cool tone and relaxed body language, there’s no reason for you to come across as desperate. And, if he says no, you can just brush it off. It’s only coffee, after all. 

If you want to stack the deck in your favor, try ‘bumping into’ him on the street. And make sure you do it right next to a coffee shop.

He’ll think it’s just a happy coincidence! He’ll be more likely to say yes, and it’s a great chance for you to see if there’s any chemistry between the two of you. 

The best thing about this is that, if he likes you, he’ll probably ask you out on a date by the time you’ve finished your coffee! It’s no wonder that men and women have been asking each other if they’d like to ‘grab a coffee’ for decades. 

More: How do you subtly tease a guy over text?


Asking a guy out doesn’t have to be a big deal. And you don’t have to get hurt if he says no. By asking a guy to spend time with you and your friends, or having a coffee with you for 10 minutes, you will come across as cool, calm and collected.

You won’t sound desperate and, in fact, he’ll be getting a glimpse into what a fun and sociable person you are. 

Follow these helpful little tips and see if you can snag yourself a little date this weekend.

Editors Note:

Enjoyed this article and want to get more tips on how to communicate your true feelings to a guy you like? Then check out this free video presentation. In this video you will learn why men are sensitive to tiny signals

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